Developmental Assists in Couples Therapy

Working with couples is a wonderful opportunity to help families in transition. Couples often come in for help in one of two scenarios: when it’s long overdue, and they’ve been stuck for years or decades, or when there is a huge transition happening that shakes them up personally and flips the comfort zone of their […]

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EFT Enactments

“The only source of knowledge is experience.” – Albert Einstein This quote of Einstein’s speaks to the heart of the effectiveness of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy: In order to effect lasting change, each person must have a different direct emotional experience of one another as part of the process of therapy. While a shift in […]

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The Relational Processes of Sexual Addiction

This article is part of the December MAMFT newsletter, in which presenters for the 2017 Couples Conference, Tangled Truths, provide thoughts on sex therapy and trauma. Delia* discovered that her husband, Timothy*, was having an affair four weeks before they showed up in my office. She later discovered this was only the beginning of a […]

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Treating Pain With Sexual Pleasure

This article is part of the December MAMFT newsletter, in which presenters for the 2017 Couples Conference, Tangled Truths, provide thoughts on sex therapy and trauma. When I teach young people sex education workshops, the first thing we talk about is porn. As a “pleasure-positive and consent-focused” sex educator, talking about porn is a must […]

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Sexual Avoidance and Couples

This article is part of the December MAMFT newsletter, in which presenters for the 2017 Couples Conference, Tangled Truths, provide thoughts on sex therapy and trauma. A common interaction in couples where at least one member has had sexual trauma is sexual avoidance. I’ve come to see avoidance of sexual intimacy as a normal human […]

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Adult Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse: Sexual Issues in Treatment and Recovery

This article is part of the December MAMFT newsletter, in which presenters for the 2017 Couples Conference, Tangled Truths, provide thoughts on sex therapy and trauma. Please note that this article was part of a larger article used in an AASECT publication in 2013. I shall use masculine pronouns in this article, as it is […]

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Sexual Trauma and Couples

This article is part of the December MAMFT newsletter, in which presenters for the 2017 Couples Conference, Tangled Truths, provide thoughts on sex therapy and trauma: “I want to be close, but don’t come near me!” “I get so angry when I see you ignoring me. I want you to want to be with me, […]

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Take Back Your Marriage

Dr. Doherty’s classic book on how to maintain a committed long term relationship, Take Back Your Marriage, was updated and republished in 2013. Doherty’s passionate argument regarding marriage is that the “core social and personal challenge of our time is how to make loving, permanent marriage work for ourselves and our children.” He believes that […]

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Five Steps toward Family Balance

Some of the couples that we work with can pinpoint the reason for their struggles to a specific event–the affair, the moment of intense, violent anger, the relapse. However, many of our couples enter the first session with exhausted expressions. Both partners have full-time jobs, a growing trend (both partners work in 59% of two-parent […]

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Marriage in the Movies: Boyhood – The Story of a Failed Marriage that Didn’t Have To Die.

Hopefully, some time soon, you will go out and see an almost 3 hour movie about nothing in particular, and everything that’s meaningful to being human. “Boyhood” took 12 years to make, and followed one family over that time. And one particular boy.  Mason Jr. It is a work of fiction.   While those who […]

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